Chief Inspector Dreyfus: “How can an idiot become a policeman? Answer me that!”
Inspector Clouseau: “It’s very simple, sir. All he must do is enlist!”
Chief Inspector Dreyfus: “Shut up!”
Recently I stumbled across a New Age augur, claiming to be a Revolutionary with prescient powers. Great exhalations of Feminist dogma, disguised as New Age mantras exuded from her lusty, loquacious lips. I’m behind the times, I know. I’d never heard of Teal Swan until the year 2019 had spent a third of itself. I was not the least impressed nor astonished at her “Message”, but in the response of the credulous comments appended to the Y.T. video. Revolutionaries are notoriously skilled story-tellers. They are always well informed on those topics uppermost in the minds of the masses, and skillful in weaving what sounds like a New Narrative, promising prosperity, whether financial, temporal, or spiritual. An ancient Jewish philosopher wrote about the phenomenon:
“Is there [any] thing whereof it may be said, See, this [is] new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us.”—Ecclesiastes 1:10
All Revolutionaries have this one quality in common—they know how to get at the misfit’s unsatisfied itch:
“I must follow the people because I am their leader.”—Ledru-Rollin, French radical politician
As everyone knows who has been subjected to mosquito bites, or ivy rashes, the itch can become so intolerable that any means of relief, no matter how inane, will be tried. So it is with the spiritual quality of human life, and every generation manufactures its gurus and success philosophers to satisfy the restlessness or meaninglessness of their petty existence. Wrote America’s hobo philosopher, Eric Hoffer:
“A rising mass movement attracts and holds a following not by its doctrine and promises but by the refuge it offers from the anxieties, barrenness and meaninglessness of an individual existence. It cures the poignantly frustrated not by conferring on them an absolute truth or by remedying the difficulties and abuses which made their lives miserable, but by freeing them from their ineffectual selves—and it does this by enfolding and absorbing them into a closely knit and exultant corporate whole.”
“When people revolt in a totalitarian society, they rise not against the wickedness of the regime but its weakness.”—p43 The True Believer
“There is apparently some connection between dissatisfaction with oneself and a proneness to credulity. The urge to escape our real self is also an urge to escape the rational and the obvious. The refusal to see ourselves as we are develops a distaste for facts and cold logic. There is no hope for the frustrated in the actual and the possible. Salvation can come to them only from the miraculous, which seeps through a crack in the iron wall of inexorable reality…. A peculiar side of credulity is that it is often joined with a proneness to imposture. The association of believing and lying is not characteristic solely of children. The inability or unwillingness to see things as they are promotes both gullibility and charlatanism.”—p59 The True Believer
“The gifted propagandist brings to a boil ideas and passions already simmering in the minds of his hearers. He echoes their innermost feelings. Where opinion is not coerced, people can be made to believe only in what they already ‘know.’’’—p105 The True Believer
In America, we heard such ideas before, with the founding of the Federal Republic by Revolutionaries who appended their names to its Constitution. Benjamin Franklin was one of the chief revolutionaries, a skillful and persuasive orator. He understood what was uppermost in people’s minds, and made this confession:
“We began planning the Revolutionary War in order to issue our own money again.”….“The inability of the Colonists to get power to issue their own money permanently out of the hands of George III and the international bankers was the prime reason for the revolutionary war.”
Often, such Revolutionaries create the very condition that germinates the revolutionary spirit. Franklin as a 23 year-old businessman (1729), persuaded the colonies to switch to paper money as the means of resolving the exit of gold and silver currency from the colonies. As informed persons of monetary theory know, this only works until someone decides to exploit its weakness. It was Franklin himself, who once again created that leverage point, when he shot off his mouth (age 45, 1751) about the Colonies’ success with paper money among agents of the British banking system. He remarked later in life the consequences of his actions, without actually confessing culpability (another quality of a Revolutionary):
“Paper money was in those times our universal currency. But, it being the instrument with which we combated our enemies, they resolved to deprive us of its use by depreciating it; and the most effectual means they could contrive was to counterfeit it. The artists they employed performed so well, that immense quantities of these counterfeits, which issued from the British government in New York, were circulated among the inhabitants of all the States [1779], before the fraud was detected. This operated considerably in depreciating the whole mass, first, by the vast additional quantity, and next by the uncertainty in distinguishing the true from the false; and the depreciation was a loss to all and the ruin of many.”
So he and his cohort businessmen planned and executed the Revolution, persuading the arch enemy of the British Empire to support their cause (for which they would receive exclusive trade rights, later reneged upon by presidents George and John), dragging the rest of the nation through an unwanted conflict with their British cousins. Knowing that without further safeguards the new nation would falter, they had to put in the hands of the propertied and businessmen the power to make and regulate money, as well as commerce. Reformation of abuses just wouldn’t do the job:
“A reform is a correction of abuses; a revolution is a transfer of power.”—E.R. Bulwer-Lytton
What did they inscribe on the back of the new paper money? New Order of the Ages. Was there a new order? No. Not at all. Just a transfer of power, and a return to strict orthodoxy which is the objective of every totalitarian regime in fomenting a revolution. Every “new age” is nothing more than a repackaging of cultural beliefs, folklore, dogma, and amalgamations of ancient or obscure beliefs.
“New” religions are founded by revolutionaries who exploit the drifting liberalism that slowly wends its way through society. Such was the case with a backwoods con artist in the early 1800s, who ultimately was murdered for his extreme revolutionary practices. Shortly before his murder, having completely roped himself of his self-importance, he had himself crowned by his select priests as King over the whole earth, in the House of Israel.
This fellow even exalted himself above his ideological predecessor—the Essene who came within a gnats hair of being murder in their commune for blaspheming their beliefs. He escaped their clutches, the attempt to toss him off a cliff into the Sea of Galilee, and went about proselytizing his own brand of orthodoxism composed of modified Buddhism, Zoroastrianism, Pythagoreanism, Mithraism, a soteriology all perpetrated by a priestly guard. The “new” commandment he gave to his disciples was not new, but merely contrasted with the vindictive one traditionally held by Jews for centuries:
"Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have [thy] cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?” Matthew 5:39-46
“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all [men] know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” John 13:34-5
Teal Swan is an exception to the typical revolutionary in this regard; she hasn’t the slightest reservation in telling her marks exactly what she is up to, without actually using the term charlatan. That she is a fraud is indisputable. Those that argue this point, lose sight of the fact that it is never the ideology charlatans purvey that is the center of their fraud. Such people usually are the epitome of personal chaos.
“The men of words are of diverse types. They can be priests, scribes, prophets, writers, artists, professors, students and intellectuals in general….Whatever the type, there is a deep-seated craving common to almost all men of words which determines their attitude to the prevailing order. It is a craving for recognition; a craving for a clearly marked status above the common run of humanity…. There is apparently an irremediable insecurity at the core of every intellectual, be he noncreative or creative. Even the most gifted and prolific seem to live a life of eternal self-doubting and have to prove their worth anew each day.”—pp132-3 The True Believer
A prophet’s shame is his failure at the mundane. If the objective is impossible then their shame is concealed. Universally, prophets are busy correcting acolytes while their own house is in disarray. This is the universal characteristic of the professional Do-Gooder. They want to change the world, out of frustration with the impotency to change their own lives. Their personal lives are often a wasteland of failed human relations. If a person desires to improve their own life, the best choice is not to hearken to the person who has made uncounted mistakes. That is the equivalent of taking a journey and asking a fellow traveler what roads not to take. You may be warned of hazards, but it doesn't help you achieve your destination efficiently and safely. The traveler worthy of counseling with is the person who successfully arrived at their destination with a minimum of impediment. The Apache understood this principle well, and it made them a formidable obstacle for the US government. The Apache followed the person who was most successful. When one desires a role-model to success, it is the person who has the highest success record, not the petty philosopher who is saturated with personal failings.
Teal Swan’s personal life is a disaster, and no role-model for anyone. What she craves most is not personal redemption, or salvation from her alleged ritual abuse. It is the gratification of her vanity—being center stage to all within the sound of her voice and gaze of her eyes. I grew up with a sister just like this, and recognize the personality traits immediately. I also made friends with a neighbor girl in my youth who proved to be the same kind of personality. They manufactured all manner of abuse and victimage in order to manipulate persons of power and influence, and gratify their insatiable need for adulation. The neighbor told me stories years after our youth about all the torment, abuse, and disadvantages she endured as a child, continuing right up to the latest adult setback. The stories were fantastic in the extreme. They shared the same surreal quality of the abuse accusations of my sister against our father, supposedly suppressed memories brought to light through hypnotherapy and regressive cognitive therapy. Teal’s involvement with the well-publicized psychotherapist fraud of the child abuse scandals in 1980s Utah is known. Yet people are still taken in by persons of such blatant artificial rectitude. It used to be common knowledge that Utah was the scam capital of the United States—more businesses start and fail there than in any other State. The same area Teal moved to as a precocious, but ignored child in a small town. Teal Swan is the kind of person Voltaire exposed:
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities...."
What man or father, would recommend to his son or daughter the philosophical babble and turpitude of a woman who sells her ideology and role-modeling using provocative, scantily clad photos of herself? One who views Adolf Hitler and Jim Jones as admirable, misunderstood characters? A person who deftly disguises her Feminist injunctions upon masculinity in order for her feminine qualities to blossom and thrive (the irresponsibility of a child)?
Some years ago I grew weary of the media barrage driven by two-bit success philosophers and gurus. We all know them. Wayne Dyer, Stephen Covey, Norman Peale, Napolean Hill, Alan Watts, Steve Harvey, Jordan Peterson, Timothy Leary, a host of slicksters in the business motivational circuit, and every other common celebrity found on public television. These are the people who publish volumes of “How To” books, run talk shows on marriage, sex, and hetero relations. A quick peek into their personal lives nearly always reveals numerous failures, if not outright disaster. Such inspection nearly always also reveals an ideology and rigid adherence to it that cannot deal with common exceptions and life’s bewildering setbacks. I decided to write down in short pamphlet form the Octagonal Qualities of the Obnoxious Success Philosopher, or Blockhead Squared Syndrome. They are:
1. Success Obsession
2. Merchandize
3. Gift of Gab
4. Restate the Obvious
5. Analyze, Systematize, Codify
6. Mythologize
7. Label & Hammer
8. Play the Pipe
I am reminded of certain lyrics of the Moody Blues, a rock band well versed in Far-Eastern mysticism, who produced an entire album exposing the spiritual and philosophical impotency of such ideology:
#4
Mystery spead it's cloak
Across the sky
We'd lost our way
Shadows fell from trees
They knew why
Then thru the leaves a light broke thru
A path lost for years lead us thru
House of four doors
I could live there forever
House of four doors
Would it be there forever?
Loneliness, the face of pilgrims eyes was known
As the door opened wide
Beauty they had found before my eyes to see
To the next door we came
Love of music showed in everything we heard
Thru the third door where are we?
Enter in all ye who seek to find within
As the plaque said on the last door
#5
Timothy Leary's dead.
No, no, no, no, He's outside looking in.
Timothy Leary's dead.
No, no, no, no, He's outside looking in.
He'll fly his astral plane,
Takes you trips around the bay,
Brings you back the same day,
Timothy Leary. Timothy Leary.
Timothy Leary's dead.
No, no, no, no, He's outside looking in.
Timothy Leary's dead.
No, no, no, no, He's outside looking in.
He'll fly his astral plane,
Takes you trips around the bay,
Brings you back the same day,
Timothy Leary. Timothy Leary.
Along the coast you'll hear them boast
About a light they say that shines so clear.
So raise your glass, we'll drink a toast
To the little man who sells you thrills along the pier.
He'll take you up, he'll bring you down,
He'll plant your feet back firmly on the ground.
He flies so high, he swoops so low,
He knows exactly which way he's gonna go.
Timothy Leary. Timothy Leary.
He'll take you up, he'll bring you down,
He'll plant your feet back on the ground.
He'll fly so high, he'll swoop so low.
Timothy Leary.
He'll fly his astral plane.
He'll take you trips around the bay.
He'll bring you back the same day.
Timothy Leary. Timothy Leary.
Timothy Leary. Timothy Leary.
Timothy Leary.
#6
Walking through that door
Outside we came nowhere at all
Perhaps the answer’s here
Not there anymore
Then in our hearts the light broke through
A path lost for years is there in view
House of four doors
You'll be lost now forever
House of four doors
Rest of life's life forever
House of four doors
You'll be lost now forever
House of four doors
A few short years ago I asked my youngest sister why in the middle of her life she had taken to moving around so much. She replied that she was looking for her life’s purpose. She was doing the same things our father had done, going to and fro upon the face of the planet, searching for his Utopia in the form of Hacienda Honey. I told her one’s purpose is found in aspiring to accomplish that which one loves the most, and that life’s meaning becomes what we have spent our lives doing. I reminded her that our maternal grandparents were never dissatisfied with their long lives, because they had considered life to be an adventure, enjoying the richness of new experiences, and learning from their mistakes wherever possible. The point of it being we explore what we are made of, and live life according to our own intelligence, not crutching through life on the agenda of others. She's been conspicuously quiet on this matter ever since.
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